I often thought that I know myself well. Of course! I mean who would actually say that "hmm.... Me?? I don't know myself". Isn't that absurd? But true enough. I don't really know myself. I can say that I didn't know my real self as what I expected myself to be. Deep. Yeah. As if there's a confusion in me. To simplify and to elaborate more to it, I didn't realize what and who I was. What I am now is not to my expectations. I thought I was like that but in fact I'm not.
Gosh!!! Getting more confusing as I'm saying this!!! I came to realize a lot of things after a heart to heart talk with mum and Jerome. Had some confessions and tons to digest after hearing from them about me. I always have a perfect perception of myself, seeing myself better than someone else and not realizing that I'm actually kinda bad. Things that people who never say or comment in order not to hurt one's feelings were reviled to me today. Some sort of killing me slashing from within thinning my heart and soul slowly. It's always hard to except criticism. I think I can still take it. But making the changes for the better after being criticized is my ultimate struggle and goal. Tons that I've realized. So it means that tons I have to change!
God, I really hope that you will help me through it and make me into a person that I thought I was. I really didn't know I was as such. But just help me through it and show me guidance and of course perseverance to endure every anger and learn how to control them. Don't let it overrule me. Lend me a hand. It's dark here. Show me the light. Show me the way. Guide me back into the right track. Lead me back to where I am suppose to be and to a road I'm suppose to walk. In you I trust.
love, remmygoh
http://facebook.com/remmygoh
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