It's been so long since I've opened this app to post blogs. Things were going up and down, facing the highs and lows of life. I've always thought that I was happy. Am I? I'm not sure either. What causes it? Loads... Tons... Too much of unsatisfactory in life that I can endure. Flaws are lurking everyday in life and yet this stubborn me is not ready to face it. Nothing in life runs smoothly. God's plans are great for us and yet I still don't trust him. My faith is just not strong enough. It's frustrating looking at problems that are impossible to solve simply because problems encountered my me were just mere issue above others' heads. So what can I do? Finally came to one night everything blast of. I've released them off all at a time. It's definitely a wrong approach. Shouted, fought and cried. All said.... Bruises on my skin may fade but the deep guilt and stupidity felt are still stirring within me. It's hard to face. Depression? Nope I don't think so. But soon I guess. Sigh.... Let's not hope for the worst.
There's a greatest weakness that I can't seemed to overcome. Perfection. This is the lousiest possession I have in me. Perfection may have serve in some areas but mostly destroying me. Chasing perfection is never a goal set by anyone as we are not God. There's a reason why he is and we are not. But I just can't face failure or flaws. It's as if it never occurred in my dictionary. I just could not face them. A scratch leaves a big mark to me where others are bot even bothered by it. I just want to let go of this in order to see happiness from another prospect. I'm still stuck in the wonderland of mine where I just can't achieve it. I always tell myself "dreams achieved by others are always achievable by me". Too bad it doesn't rhyme that way. I really hope that one day I would go easy on flaws in life and life happy and long. Life really do suck with imperfection. But that's how life it. Live it or suck it! Alright I'm not letting go of perfection, but I will go easy on achieving it. Perfection may be good if it's not excessive. May people around me always remind me how blessed I am and not just looking at the flaws in life.
love, remmygoh
http://facebook.com/remmygoh
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