Listen, Speak.

Have you encountered problems that you can't solve especially when you are in it? But do you realize that you can actually solve it when you are sober? We use to tell others comforting words when others are facing troubles. But we never get to solve our own. It's always easy to solve problems for others than to solve ours.

To me, we should not hold back in helping others by listening and saying comforting words to calm oneself down. It's hard when comes to solving our own problems and that's when other people to come and fill us up.

Everyone has their own problems, big or small. Some may show them, some may not. Some may rage out at that certain time, some might just stumble on it forever. God never promise us good and smooth road ahead of us. In fact throughout my blog you'll see the bittersweet of my life. It's only natural that our life is laid in this matter. Facing and encountering problems is never an easy task. That's when other people come in to brighten up the dull piece of art hanging in our hearts. Sometimes, hearing out a person's heart is good enough even if we can't solve much. When a person pour out, that person would tend to feel relaxed and calmed. That's when he/she can have a clear mind to think of a solution rather than going through the problem with a hard cold heart.

You may not realize the power of speaking. Our mouth is a wonderful instrument created by God for us to communicate. With just talking, we can pour out our heart felt feelings, and by just speaking to another, one will understand and think.

Family members, Friends... They don't come by easily. Talk to them. Let them know what you feel in order for them to understand you. And you should also play the part of listening and understanding others. If listening and understanding is mutual, problems and conflicts can be solved faster and easier.


love, remmygoh
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An unsatisfied human.

Humans, creation of God. Together, mankind is formed. What God provides are abundant. What humans want is way beyond the word "abundant". Greed is a unending "want" in human beings. Humans want everything, literally!

Let's scope it down to me. There are a lot of things in this world that is yet to fulfill and yet to achieve. But I just could not accept the fact that I can't. I really do agree that greed plays a darn important role in my life even with a good teaching, Christian family background. I still have that thirst to "want" more. There's so much in life that I want to achieve and if possible I "want" it now itself. That's a bit, in fact too much to ask. I'm hopping things would turn out the way I wanted-a perfect life without stress and failures, things that I "want" would be fulfilled without cracking my head of how to get it or keep on pondering when I could get it.

It's a nuisance come to think of it. Silly as a human's mind, greedy as a wolf's heart to want every single "perfect" thing in life. Now comes the ugly truth. Nothing comes easy. When you have something, you tend to lose the other. Sometimes, you get nothing. Life puzzled by God is never wrong. But questions above our mind will always question and blame God for it. I always ask myself, or good to say ask God why did he create us to let us suffer on earth for Adam & Eve's fault? I mean you already knows what will happen next, why you still let us make a choice? See..... Humans and their silly little minds thinking so hard for stupid questions like this. It's pathetic, but so true. Everyone questions. Everyone ponders. Everyone doubt. That's why creation and inventions happened. Why a single 1+2 can be complicated to alphabets and symbols. Anyways, why numbers are created in the first place. Questions are good. It serves it purpose but questioning God kills. So... So.... Am I still going to question? Yes! Definitely. One man's dreams and wants cant come true without a question. But always bare in mind that not everything comes our way. We must not dwell in what we don't have but look forward to what we can achieve.

-a story told to remind myself and you not to be so unsatisfied with life.- coz I'm barely coping with it.... Sigh~


love, remmygoh
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Dissapointing Hardwork.

2nd Aug

Sigh..... It's a real failure today. I woke up early this morning, having a big plan ahead of me. Preparing breakfast for my close friends in class. It's a privilege for me to prepare breakfast fir them as I always eat theirs. Potato is supposed to be in the menu. But since there's no potatoes in the fridge and I'm damn tired after fetching Jerome round and round town for his University stuff a day earlier, I've decided to make Half-boiled eggs on Toasted Bread. I've suggested to me in class. She's Surprisingly happy and said yes to anything. But through my observation, she likes it. So there, I've woke up and start preparing. I'm not really good in the kitchen. I'll always take a long time to finish stuff. I made the half boiled eggs twice- once to test(failed) then the second time(success). Proceed... Bath quickly, feed the monster and Snowpuff and rush off to school since mum is tagging along. I told her ill be late if I send her to school before arriving mine. So I've suggested that Jerome to fetch her with the other car. Surprisingly she nodded and agreed.

Went to school with my heavy bags and books. Arrived and rush quickly to the class to settle my stuff before I go for the daily assembly. Was very excited for their reaction when they see what I've brought for them. Recess came and so is our breakfast. Opened up and they seemed so surprise and happy. Broke the eggs onto the bread and feast. The eggs was quite nice with it's orangey yoke. My grandma said its good for the brain as it is organic eggs from the farm. They ate and came S'ng to the table to give his salad to us as promised a day ago. We ate both and YW ate too. The salad contain all her enemies -veg, onions, mayonese. It's a wonder that she actually finished it. So then I asked her whats with her facial expression when I said " S'ng, your Salad is very successful coz even YW is eating it" then she told me "I struggled through all of them!!!", as she gave the Tupperware a shook to emphasize it was the "WHOLE" thing. WHOLE means including the eggs. I was a bit pissed at that time. I was trying to salvage the situation and said "what you like then?, I'll prepare for you next time". She quickly responded "no, I don't want! I'll bring my own food next time". That.... Wow!!!! It's like a big rock dropped from the sky and hit me. No appreciation felt and yet a unacceptable comment. Then VV added. Yeah... It's not that nice. Next time don't bring. It is actually an advice but somehow I couldn't except it at that moment. I was speechless since then and regretted bringing breakfast. Before we head to our cars after school ends, MS came in to the class and stepped on me a few times after getting up from that gait rock earlier in by saying "oh! What??!! You ate "COLD HALF BOILED EGGS???!!!" you are going to get a stomach ache!" I can't take it no more and walked away. I don't want to fall more and more after more and more comments from other parties.

Felt.....
Stupid•regret•sorry•humiliated•angry.



love, remmygoh
http://facebook.com/remmygoh

Horror down.... Hope coming!

Jerome finally got in to a university in Johor. It's a Honest Degree in Tech Management at University Tun Hussien Onn Malaysia (UTHM). Don't know what's the course about but the good news is, he can finally get to university. Hope that he will be thankful to the Lord for all he has provide for him. Too much mistakes in life God overlooked as his love is unconditional. So please... Work hard!! You can do it. It's my turn next year... Creeps me out. But it's gonna be fine I guess... :)


love, remmygoh
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I'm not me.

It's been a long time I've not met me. I'm mot me for a few weeks ady. I always do things that I thought that would turn out in certain ways just keep disappointing me. How can I change? Thinking of it. I'm a crazy dumb nut trying to chase happiness that is not actually there for me. I always taught I had them. But at times I don't. And its getting more and more frequent. I'm loosing myself all the time. And each time when I need someone by my side to comfort me or reason it out with me I don't. You are the one who understands me the most. How can just "I'm getting older" helps change the fact that you are my mum, my guid, my consultant, my psychiatrist, my friend. Sigh... Guess age changes everything. I wished that I could understand you while hoping that you understands me more for I am still me. This mood swing of mine is getting from bad to worst. Cause? I'm not sure either. I just need someone, anyone beside there to tell me and to comfort me when I'm like that rather than using force against force. That really kills. Hurts deep down. PLEASE HELP ME.


love, remmygoh
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Michael Angelo birthday.

Its not Michael's Birthday... It's my friend, S'ng. There's a lot of things that happened between us and him. Truthfully, I've doubted our friendship and I've once dislike you. Luckily, after some time my perception changed. I can say that we are not very close even I know you for a long time. But I really hope to know you better and preserve this friendship forever. Friends don't come by easily. Treasurer them.







































































It's a pizza birthday celebration in Michael Angelo. Enjoyed allot. Ate allot too... Going fat.... Who cares... As long as we're all happy!:) Happy Birthday S'ng!!!



love, remmygoh
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Officially yours

12th July

All these years, efforts and hard work have finally laid off my shoulders. It's a bit sad and happy. Happy because I can finally not lay a single hand in it, sad... Simply because my efforts are finally handed to someone's hand. It's my final year here. There are loads of "last year" stuff.... Being a library, wearing school uniform, involve in co-curricular activities, sports day, parents day... And tons more that any student will hate. Come to think of it.... I'm missing it already. It's time to let go and focus 100% on STPM. it's my last hope. This mid term exam is just so so... Actually quite down in it's dumps.... I didn't even reach my minimum target 3.0. I got 2. something ny... Will strive harder for trials... Wish me luck! ;)


love, remmygoh
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Having a good relationship.

Recently, I've learned a very important lesson in life. It's really hard to have a good relationship with others. We are never created to be alone. We live in a society where we meet various people with various character. It's hard to gain new relations at times and it's even harder to make relations last and work out. I've learned a lot in school in understanding the opposite gender and to respect them. Sometimes a women's heart is even harder to understand than all the laws of science in total. At least results gain in experiments have a certain pattern if your hypothesis is not wrong. Women, on the other hand are a very extremely special creature that it's so difficult to understand fully whats in their mind.

The other relationship is family. I've always thought I know my family members well and same goes for them. Well it turns out I'm wrong. Sometimes when we are too close we often forget little things that one would mind or one dislikes. Talking among family members were never an issue at home. But somehow at times things ruin with basically... Me.... I hate to admit but it's so true. My problems are always every else's problems. Shyks! Why can't I just keep them a bit longer and not let it out that way. After this experience, telling straight on the face really does work better than thinking that he/she will eventually understand. News flash ~ they won't. I just couldn't except what I've done that day that led to such a havoc at home. Instead of going out with my friends i flare out and created a commotion at home. Regret until now. Even though mum said sweet words like "it's normal that we voice out certain opinions in this way" and "the closer we are, the more friction and fights we will get into". I just don't feel at ease with the things I've done. It's foolish and pointless. Sigh~ just can't forgive myself.

love, remmygoh
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It's been awhile yet again.

It's been so long since I've opened this app to post blogs. Things were going up and down, facing the highs and lows of life. I've always thought that I was happy. Am I? I'm not sure either. What causes it? Loads... Tons... Too much of unsatisfactory in life that I can endure. Flaws are lurking everyday in life and yet this stubborn me is not ready to face it. Nothing in life runs smoothly. God's plans are great for us and yet I still don't trust him. My faith is just not strong enough. It's frustrating looking at problems that are impossible to solve simply because problems encountered my me were just mere issue above others' heads. So what can I do? Finally came to one night everything blast of. I've released them off all at a time. It's definitely a wrong approach. Shouted, fought and cried. All said.... Bruises on my skin may fade but the deep guilt and stupidity felt are still stirring within me. It's hard to face. Depression? Nope I don't think so. But soon I guess. Sigh.... Let's not hope for the worst.

There's a greatest weakness that I can't seemed to overcome. Perfection. This is the lousiest possession I have in me. Perfection may have serve in some areas but mostly destroying me. Chasing perfection is never a goal set by anyone as we are not God. There's a reason why he is and we are not. But I just can't face failure or flaws. It's as if it never occurred in my dictionary. I just could not face them. A scratch leaves a big mark to me where others are bot even bothered by it. I just want to let go of this in order to see happiness from another prospect. I'm still stuck in the wonderland of mine where I just can't achieve it. I always tell myself "dreams achieved by others are always achievable by me". Too bad it doesn't rhyme that way. I really hope that one day I would go easy on flaws in life and life happy and long. Life really do suck with imperfection. But that's how life it. Live it or suck it! Alright I'm not letting go of perfection, but I will go easy on achieving it. Perfection may be good if it's not excessive. May people around me always remind me how blessed I am and not just looking at the flaws in life.


love, remmygoh
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Sports day

Every sports day I'll be either marching, going for emergency stand by, selling stuff or just absent. This year, my very last year joining sports day in Anderson. I was in-charge of emergency stand by and half in-charge of my juniors marching for Librarians. The librarians were very active and self volunteered. This is the first time I see form 6 with this much of enthusiasm all the way. I mean most form 6 would just focus on their studies and who cares about sports day. I'm glad they came and gave their best. The perbarisan started and as well as my duty. Was walking around relaxed with Jackson. We were chatting as we are on the run while others are stationed in a few stations. While walking towards the back of the line, one fainted, we ran there to check out what was going on. It was one of my librarians. I was worried coz he was under me. Honestly speaking, any Tom, Dick and Harry can survive this easy task. I remember my days in NS and during my discipline test in Red Crescent was 10 times worse than this and we had to stand under the hot and blazing sun. To my surprise, more and more fainting in less than an hour under the rising morning sun. I went over to the librarians and told them to move their toes to prevent them from fainting. Soon after that, a girl from the librarians fainted. Haha... Finally Terry has some use to her presence as the only female on duty. Pn.Anna came along and we instructed her bait how to handle the victim coz we can't attend to a opposite gender. Perbarisan over and we start to recruit younger members from the Perbarisan to the duty hut. With the extra hands, we are more free. Not much problem after that. It's more of small aches and crams ny. A massage of analgesic cream will do. Then in my station, I met this very annoying St. John member. His mouth and hands just couldn't stop. Reminded me of my friend who is also there senior, Jia Chun. He irritated me throughout the whole duty there. Until I couldn't tahan and went over to the Birch hut to show David the latest snsd MV. he was so happy. Haha.. Pity him, the whole world have seen their MV except for this crazy fan here coz his mother forbids him. That's about it... Another sports day.






























love, remmygoh
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